dementia pugilistica.

by mrs. hopewell

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about

7 songs about boxers, atrial fibrillation, and facing the void.

"I can entertain the proposition that life is a metaphor for boxing—for one of those bouts that go on and on, round following round, jabs, missed punches, clinches...and your opponent so evenly matched it’s impossible to see your opponent is you."—Joyce Carol Oates

credits

released January 13, 2015

All songs written and performed by Christopher Nicastro.

Special thanks go out to Ashley Pecorelli for driving me to the hospital that one night; Jack Brannigan for being my oldest confidant and system of support; Jorge Velez for always backing my stuff; and anyone who ever listened to this frivolous little project.

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mrs. hopewell Hartford, Connecticut

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Track Name: it was you, charlie
Maybe a leather fist in my mouth
and blood on the cold paisley couch
will help me open a
brutalized eye
cut it open vickie jeez oh why

they say “jake you got an iron chin”
but fuck won’t you please tell me when
this sickness boiling up in me
will let go and finally set me free?
Track Name: holly and i are soup snakes
i get so overwhelmed with
i get so overwhelmed with you
my chest pulsates excessively
pulsates too much when i’m with you
Track Name: sugar sugar
i think i’m done with all these hits to the face
don’t want to hear “ray you’re a disgrace”
so i’ll hang em up and put em down and move it away
hit the bottle weave and waddle and black out on the way

cuz i hate my wife and i hate my family too
i’m done with boxing and i’m done with the crew
snap my crucifix, and pull a hit and find someone new
someone big enough to break my neck and spit on me too

i’ll walk the bridge next to grand army 6
with johnnie walker with some pep in my kicks
i’ll jump off if he dares me and it seems like he will
i’ll trip as i go over and old johnnie’ll spill

and as i break the ice i’ll think about you
how you cut moran and big jim carter, too
and inhale the water smiling and laugh through the night
at how everlast didn’t help me out in my biggest fight
Track Name: what went wrong?
have you been smoking again
and are you okay to drive me then?

i don't know where i went wrong
i don't know what went wrong
Track Name: james orin incandenza
case closed
move on
forget that you were wrong

give me one two three days to sell my speed
and then meet me down by the kenmore T
cuz i need some money and i need somebody to help me out with my
hollywood dreams

do you believe in ghosts man?
Track Name: korine
the curse is breaking
i haven’t seen you for a while
hello my old friend
i guess it’s nice to see you smile

i hear you’re better
i hear you stitched yourself a bit
do you remember
the days i almost up and quit

the life i’m leading
christ we were just stupid kids

we were young
we were bold
now we do
what we’re told

no more borges
no more zinn
no more bergman or korine

i may have lost count
of all the nicotine inhaled
and all the late nights
the seventh seal our holy grail

i hope you miss me
when you’re out on a winter’s night
i’ll pour out to decades
of us putting up a fight
Track Name: 1972-2009 (bonus track)
5am i’ll wake up
run six miles through lowell
read the morning paper
sip my morning coffee

2010’s a new year
do this all without you
you were my best friend
and dancing partner

mick are you ok?
as tears fall down from my face
something’s missing from me
miss the pain of punches

from him

and i
don’t know if it is true
what they say
what they say about you
you loved your girls
you loved your life too much
so l
don’t believe it is true
you’re a god amongst men
you wouldn’t give in to them